重複的夢

某種記憶是一組相連的神經元，當大腦已經遺忘的時候，會突然出現，熟悉又完整。

前天的夢：牙齒脫落

睡眠中突然有意識，很驚恐，手一碰右邊門牙和門牙右邊那顆牙，它們就掉了，有點疼，又不是特別疼，繼續很驚恐，到處求助如何把牙安上去或者裝假牙，在驚恐中回憶起以前曾做過這樣的夢，但是同樣不知所措，在驚恐焦慮中又睡着了。

今天的夢：北韓間諜活動

睡眠中，意識出現，我，我父母，我的一個女同學，在一個北韓鄉村顯要人物家裏受邀吃飯，緊張的氣氛。我意識到自己曾經做過這個夢，而且結局是鄉村顯要人物家庭一位女性年長成員死了並且屍體送到我以前的住處，於是我努力想改變結局，要在夢中嘗試不同的做法。我想幫助那位年長的成員，她可能是僕人，可能是家中長輩，她喪命的原因是那位鄉村顯要發現我們是間諜而我們又幫助了那位年長女性。於是我決定，同樣地，要幫助那位女性，而且要在別人下手前保護她。在餐桌上，正如上一次夢境，緊張有序地進食，我作出的改變是提示同學和我一起到廚房幫助那位年長女性準備食材。在廚房我們與她交談，她略顯緊張，但也接受我們的幫助，僅僅是準備食材而已。飯局結束，我意識到那位年長女性即將性命不保，敦促家人趕緊回家，以防年長女性在我們家裏被殺害留下血跡作爲對我們的震懾。內心緊張外表鎮定從容地趕路，路上我靈機一動買了一大桶灰色塑料包裝的漿糊，和一桶白色油漆，必要時可以把門粘起來作爲抵抗。到家上樓時，見到一個大紙皮箱，可裝入一個人那種，還有兩位快遞人員等候我們簽收。我心裏很害怕，怕還是遲來了一步。誰知道，簽收時，包裹裏竟然是另一個男人的屍體，一個我們沒有印象的人。猶豫了一陣，我安慰自己，幸好不是她，正在想接下來怎麼辦時，電鑽響了我醒了。

經常在夢中，我意識到自己在做夢，並且用自己的意志去改變夢境，而不是由夢引導自己的思想。

不務正業理想課程

話說多年來與母上聊天過程中，提到過幾種非傳統教育涉及的職業及專業培訓，很驚喜地在與好友阿靚聊天過程中，找回對那些專業培訓的嚮往，簡單列舉，日後希望有機會嘗試完成：

1. 廚藝課程（即使修成不夠開餐館，也有能力填飽自己）
2. 調酒師課程 Bar-tendering （因爲自己喜歡 cocktail, 大一曾學習過相關課程，礙於學業未能繼續，甚爲遺憾。有此專業訓練可成爲 Bar tender, 甚至創業開酒吧）
3. 咖啡師 （亦在大一參與的課程學習過相關知識）
4. 評酒師（要求敏感的味覺，母上覺得我可以）
5. 調香師（敏感的嗅覺）（以上兩者我暫時未知道有確實的課程）
6. 壽司學徒（喜愛壽司，以及其製作的過程。向喜愛壽司的朋友推薦紀錄片：《壽司之神》）

一向接受傳統教育的我，感覺到缺乏對某種事物無止境的熱情。希望將來我能夠有時間和能力，追求一種屬於自己熱愛的可以不斷練習鑽研的東西。

Colors

今天突然间超级无聊，折腾起 Bash prompt 和 dircolors…=_= 不喜欢 solarized, 也不喜欢 Ubuntu 默认的紫色低白字，duckduckgo&google了一轮才明白 Bash prompt 用那么奇怪的颜色代号，和只有那么少的颜色，而且是 gnome-terminal profile 设置的颜色。dircolors支持256colors，把颜色全部列出来一个个看顺眼才写进配置里真累…..折腾完觉得好看多了，可是，好，无，聊，啊，我！

反正现在都 zenburn 了，以后也懒得再弄。

另外 Bash 好难>_<

好久没写东西一写居然是此等无聊之作，好无聊…流离失所的无奈

Kony 2012. ?

learned about Kony 2012 campaign yesterday, from sina weibo *suprisingly not from twitter since i haven’t been checking my timeline often*

then i watched the campaign video. it talked about the crimes of the leader of LRA, a rebellion group whose base was once uganda, which i infer from the map change. the LRA leader, joseph kony, commits war crimes, abducts kids, turning boys into soldiers girls into sex slaves. kony fights without outside support, and is presumably good at hiding and fighting in the woods. invisible children inc., presumably lead by the narrator of the video, filmed frightened kids who were afraid of abduction, set out to help those kids by raising the awareness of this issue and setting up proper schools for them. and now they want more people to know about joseph kony, by making this video and planning following actions. they have asked us government to send troops to help local forces finding kony and they have asked many celebrities and politicians for their influence.

but why this year? the video will be expired at the end of 2012, why? looking at a broader picture, i guess the only answer is the us government has set a date that their deployed troops in uganda or where they are needed to be have to return, whether the mission succeed or not; or there’s no fixed date, but troops will be returned if there’s no consistent or increasing support of this campaign/mission. that’s why the invisible children inc. tries so hard to push and gain support of their cause. but i don’t see national even global support is the concrete solution of this problem. demands of such cause cannot assure capture of the bad guy, it would only turn into pressure for us government which, from my point of view, can be easily set aside, either by a strong will to abort the mission or by raising another urgent issue. and this is the election year, invisible children inc. cleverly use it and gather support from both parties. it’s not likely to become a big issue in election campaign nonetheless candidates will have to treat it or use it wisely.

westerners go to africa, see the lives of poor africans and do their best to save them. this kind of story has been told and has been going on. almighty west saves the world. but is this how the world functions? the video made by invisible children inc. did not talk anything about how kony became a rebellion, what was the problem in those areas of africa that was causing the fight. what was kony fighting for? just to abduct more kids? this is the central cause of conflict. and how do the military forces in africa deal with this rebellion group? i learn nothing from the video. when there’s long term conflict or insolvable issue or running criminals in other parts of the world, americans ask their government to send troops and deal with it, on other countries’ land, all due to americans idea of humanity and justice, does this sound weird? americans are so heroic, they must think african people need them badly.

kony already knows the americans are after him. when he will be captured, dead or alive is an interesting question which defines the success of invisible children inc. and the us government operations. if kony is captured by the end of this year, this case will surely be an example of us-defended-humanity-by-military-intervention-abroad. if failed or discontinued at some point, those americans will be greatly embarrassed and operations of this kind will definitely be harder than before.

it’s not true that only the americans care about these issues, it’s just that they are good at campaigning. after i watch the campaign video, i signed the pledge too. but then i cooled down my head, hesitated and wondered if this is a proper approach of solving problems like this. campaigns do not actually solve the problem it’s for sure. various doubts on this campaign and the video are plenty on youtube and other websites.

social media spread issues can quickly capture people’s eyes and minds, and even blind them. stay clear and stay alert. try to ask yourself a few questions before retweeting. i’ll be keeping track of this campaign cuz the result will definitely be interesting.

Boring interview questions and braindead HRs

Well i’ve only done 4 or 5 interviews but i’ve already come across a few questions i don’t want to answer.

1. 1min/3min self introduction

2. what’s your biggest obstacle in your life so far and how to manage it? (or sth like that

3. suppose you’re a team leader, how would/did you deal with disagreements between you and team members?

here’s what i thought when i heard the above questions

1. oh come on… again? alrite just say anything and get through it as quickly as possible

2. what? right now my biggest obstacle is you! as for others, i always felt once i got through the toughest part, it was no longer tough any more. i can’t recall that much pain and anxiety.

3. what? why do you suppose such disagreement definitely exists? there was never any dramatic fight or disagreement when i worked within a team. moreover i wouldn’t call it disagreement, actually what happens all the time are different opinions which further encourages discussions and better solutions and then i forget about it. i don’t think there’s anything to show or proof by answering this question.

beyond these ‘braindead’ questions, i wonder why almost every employer wants someone to show quality of leadership. are you hiring everybody to be a leader? so no one works under a leader since everybody wants to be a leader? expecting an undergrad to lead in what ways? what aspects? besides, experience of leadership on campus from my point of view, doesn’t really mean much. student societies or unions work in a huge different way with real world companies. i don’t believe one who can’t even properly do his entry level job can be a good leader in the future. companies should be hiring people who can do the job, not some arrogant undergrad with lots of campus leadership experience wishing to jump to a high level asap.

HRs are doing their job the wrong way. check any recruiting forums, there are loads of answers to loads of leaked interview questions for job seekers to ‘fully prepare’ their answers in advance. HR gets little info from the person by asking questions, plus the authenticity of those answers are highly questionable. surprisingly HRs do love to ask the same questions again and again which i find it lack of creativity, personality and sincerity. they are doing it the wrong and lazy way.

the way i see it, i’d rather be given a real problem and solve it right the way. this way interviewer can observe and learn quite much more than just merely talks, for interviewees there’s much less chance to cheat. so get real. be true to the employer and be fair to interviewees.

longest interview i’ve been through is an almost whole day experience, summer sth by EY. i think it’s fair enough, given people lots of chances to get to know each other and show each other what they’ve got but, it’s really tiring for interviewees and costs a lot for companies.

anyway, if i had to do more interviews, i’d write down my response to those questions i mentioned before and recite them! however boring it might be, if dealing with stupid HRs is the only way to get a job, i’d do it the stupid way. oh there are so much more i hate about HRs, maybe i should narrow it down to HRs in canton, among business/finance industries.

don’t judge a book by its cover. how the hell can you judge a person from a piece of resume paper and a few minutes talk? i don’t think interview by talking is really helping anything. i always tend to observe longer before jumping into any conclusions about people, for respect and to avoid prejudice, HRs do exactly the opposite! this really amazes me.

hell of a kind of job.